I’ve been thinking about a few things I wanted to write about. It’s been a while since I’ve written a post and I feel that New Years Eve is the perfect time for it.
New Years Eve is often a reflection time for me, taking time to look back on the the outward and inward events of the past year. Celebrating the triumphs and sometimes avoiding the thoughts and imprints of the harder times. This year, today, I am making sure to change up my reflection style a little bit. I’m making some trades. Instead of passing over the rough times quickly to move on to the happier more balanced feelings, I’m staying with the hard times. The reason I feel so strongly about doing this, is because often it’s the hard times, uncomfortable times, unbalanced times, and painful times, that can offer you a deeper look into who you are, why you are the way you are, and what you can do to adjust parts about yourself that you may not be so fond of.
When I go back and I think of situations where I didn’t act as I wish I would have, it no longer makes me cringe or feel embarrassed, I’m feeling very grateful for these moments. I’m able to look at them, see where my pain-body, pride or ego was getting in the way, and see where I need to make some important adjustments. The hard part of this is acting out of love the next time a similar scenario comes into play.
I believe that we attract the same scenes over and over again in life until we get our lessons out of them. I’ve had this happen many times and wondered what I was doing wrong!? Why am I never getting what I need, I would ask? Why can’t I be with someone who really see’s me? Why can’t I have the body/health that I want? Little did I know, I had everything! I was getting everything I needed, I was with a partner that saw me (I just didn’t like who I was), I did have a healthy body (I just didn’t love myself enough to see it). I am now focusing on noticing when a similar patterns start showing up in my life. When I notice them, I meditate, go within and ask for guidance. I first got to the emotion of the situation. What am I feeling? When did I feel this way last? Who did I feel this way with last? When is the first time I remember feeling this way? Typically I can trace these emotions back to my childhood and my work is there. Getting there is always easier than doing the work, but doing the work is oh so important.
My new years eves have been celebrated many ways in this life, but this is absolutely the most fulfilling for me, self reflection, compassion and gratitude. Yes, I do enjoy planning for the future, and remembering the past, but every year I feel that I get a little bit closer to the present and that is truly where it is ALL at. My heart is filled with love and happiness today and I am spreading that warmth your way.
Happy New Years friends! May this year be all that is supposed to be and may this moment be filled with joy.